Wednesday, July 19, 2006
(21 years old; studying abroad in China…)
“It is not good to have zeal without knowledge, nor to be hasty and miss the way.” Proverbs 19:2
“Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” Proverbs 19:21
Lord, I’m in this Tibetan village now and there’s so much in my heart. And yet, I’m feeling strangely cold. Our hostel is connected to a Tibetan Buddhist temple/monastery. My friend is feeling ill and thinks it’s spiritual warfare. My heart feels crusty and cold…maybe this is spiritual warfare, too. So, I proclaim right now in Your presence (for I know You are here!) that You are the great King over heaven and earth! You are more powerful than the enemy and all his principalities and powers. You have bound them from having dominion over me and my friends. You are a good King and You are here with me NOW and I love You and Your love is covering us like a warm and protective blanket. Hallelujah! I praise You, Lord!
So these things in my heart…these past few weeks my heart has been filled with ideas and thoughts about the way You want to use my life. Many of the feelings in my heart I don’t even understand and can’t express, but I DO know You are doing something in me that is going to play out in crazy, huge, and miraculous ways! And I praise You for that. This proverb says zeal is good, but not without knowledge. Lord, You know I have the zeal, increasing daily! But I need YOU to give me the knowledge. There is so much I need to know to fulfill this dream You’ve placed inside of me…languages? Cultures? Peoples? Politics? I don’t know. So I don’t want to leap ahead too quickly in my zeal…I don’t want to do something before it’s time…BUT I also don’t want to be too slow…I don’t want to be held back by my own fears, pressures from other people, lack of money, etc. I don’t want to go back to even a bit of mundane living. I want my life to DAILY reach its fullest potential in YOU…unfolding ever into the glorious picture that You are painting. Fill my life with the exciting plans and adventures that are only found in Fill my life with the exciting plans and adventures that are only found in YOU!
Speak to me during these next few days here. Speak Lord Your plans and Your thoughts and Your wisdom into my life! I beg You, Lord! Reveal yourself to me these days in a miraculous way! Truly something was trying to keep me from coming, and it was NOT You! So I am here…I will listen. Speak to my heart…may I know You better, and as I know You better, may I hear Your voice and know clear thoughts and confirmation of the things You have placed in my heart. Hear my prayer here, O Lord! I know You are here and how desperately I love You! I am Yours. Do with me what You will.