S2E24: Embracing Faith and Our Need for Community - Jael Anker Lagos
In this episode, I am joined by Jael Anker-Lagos as we dive into a journey of self-discovery, embracing our purpose, and the power of community.
We discuss the importance of trusting ourselves, expanding our dreams, and finding healing through faith. Jael shares her personal experience of moving from people-pleasing to embracing her identity as a child of God. She beautifully highlights the significance of community in navigating life's transitions and finding support along the way. Join us in this inspiring conversation about self-discovery, faith, personal growth, and community. You won't leave the same!
More about Jael:
Jael Anker-Lagos is a God-Girl and she loves experiencing the power of the Holy Spirit by connecting with people like you! Community has carried Jael through life’s transitions time and time again. Now, she loves to serve in communities and help others create life-giving communities.
Connect with Jael:
Sign up for Nov. 27 workshop - https://beyondreal.mn.co/landing/plans/344598
Website - https://beyondreal.mn.co/
Instagram - @risetorealness
Connect with Gabi:
Book your FREE 45-minute connection call with Gabi to see if the Pain to Passion coaching program is a good fit for you! - CLICK HERE
FREE Soul Care Journal Download - https://www.gabiruth.com/scjd
Instagram - @gabiruth
TikTok - @gabiruth84
Facebook - facebook.com/gabiruth84
Website - gabiruth.com
Invite Gabi to Speak - gabiruth.com/speaking
(TRANSCRIPT) S2E24: Embracing Faith and Our Need for Community - Jael Anker-Lagos
Note: Transcript is created by AI. Please excuse any errors.
Gabi: [00:00:00] Hello, beautiful people. Welcome back to pain to passion. Bye. Yay. I have an amazing, beautiful friend here with me today. I have my friend jail. I'm so excited that she was able to join us on a podcast today because I know you guys are going to love her as much as I do. She's just sparkly and bright. And wonderful and she makes me smile every single time I see her so I know that that joy will be infectious and contagious as she talks with us today, but thank you so much for being here with us jail.
Jael: Thank you so much, Gabi, I love that you just described my joy as sparkly you made me smile. So, um, thank you for warming my heart always, and thank you for having such a rooted, calming energy, um, for us to come to.
Gabi: Aww, you're so sweet. And I meant every word. I, [00:01:00] every time I think of you, I'm like, she's so sparkly!
Like, in the best way. Um, if any of you have a chance to pop over to YouTube to watch this episode, you'll see her beautiful smile. And you'll know what I mean. But you'll hear it in her voice as well. Um, JL and I met through Patrice Washington, um, she has done her mastermind and I was able to teach a little session to the mastermind ladies a while back and we connected multiple times for multiple reasons via the amazing, beautiful Patrice Washington, um.
But I'm just so excited because Jael has also become a client of mine. And it's weird even to use the word client. Cause I'm like, you're my pal, you're my friend, but that's like the best kind of client to have when you have like mutual trust and you really like each other. So, um, it's just been really, really [00:02:00] fun to get to know her.
And I'm excited for all of you guys to get to know her today as well. So jail. Usually when I start these episodes, I have my guests just tell us about themselves. So feel free to tell us who you are, where you are, and what you're about.
Jael: Thank you, Gaby. Um, my name is Jael Anker-Lagos, and I am truly a child of God.
And the crazy part is, is that I never would have introduced myself that way. Um, A while ago, you know, and even like kind of recently ago, um, but I have just come to embrace that. Right. I used to introduce myself with all of the labels, right? Mother, or formerly accountant, right? By your professional labels, your.
What you do during the day labels, um, and now I've just come to embrace, like, I'm a child of God. And, [00:03:00] um, I strive to see that in everybody, um, everywhere I go. Um, and I think that's why I love to connect with others, is because you can find God within them.
Gabi: Mm. I love that. What does it mean to you, truly, personally, to be a child of God?
Jael: To trust that I was placed here on earth, um,
on purpose.
Like, God wouldn't have wasted his time with any of us. Yeah. God created us all unique, with all our fine intricacies. It's on purpose, with great intention, with a big plan in place, and sometimes we don't [00:04:00] understand it, but just trusting that, like, we're all here for a reason.
I love to think of life as this big puzzle, um, the puzzle called life, and we're all a unique piece of that puzzle. And, um, if we ever try to be like anybody else. Um, it messes the whole puzzle up, right? Because you can't have two of the same piece of a puzzle if every piece is unique. The puzzle will not be complete.
So good. You have to be yourself. You have to embrace yourself. And trust that you were created unique and different, um, on purpose for a reason.
Gabi: Yeah, I love that analogy of the puzzle because it's so true we can spend so much time trying to look like a different puzzle piece, but then we're leaving something vital out of the whole [00:05:00] picture.
Right. So tell me a little bit like what has this journey been like for you to discover your puzzle piece. What's that look like for you.
Jael: Um, I was definitely raised as a people pleaser. I think, like, a lot of people can relate to that, right? Um, kind of still in that era of, you know, children are to be seen, not heard.
Um, you know, the good girl, uh, syndrome. Um, so constantly trying to please others, um, especially those that I really care about. Um, and then also, like, meet societal expectations. And so when it got to high school and college, um, I was directed to go get a degree in accounting and, um, because I would get a [00:06:00] job after graduation and I graduated college during the great recession.
Um, and so a lot of my peers, um, if they got offers, their offers were rescinded, or they weren't getting offers at all. And, um, and we like. We, there was a group of us, um, in the business honors college at the university of Oregon. And so like people were good students, creative, hardworking, and the market was just so rough, right?
Every one of all the businesses were cutting back, um, and shrinking and downsizing the great recession. And so I felt incredibly lucky, lucky to have gone into accounting and gotten a job. And actually, like, been able to serve in that field for, um, a few years, um, through the Great Recession. Um, but I knew, like, in my [00:07:00] gut, I knew it wasn't me.
Yeah. And when I tell people, like people who know me, um, and know my heart and know my creativity and know like how spirit led I am, they are always so surprised when they're like, you were in corporate accounting? Like, what?
Gabi: Totally.
Jael: Like, I mean, accounting is an important profession and stuff, but it just wasn't me.
Yeah. I spent a lot of time trying to fit in, trying to meet all the expectations that there were in that realm of the world, in that professional corporate realm of the world. Um, and that's how. I thought I belonged was by, um, like changing myself to fit in, um, but really deep [00:08:00] down inside what I wanted, um, ever since I was a little girl was to be a mom.
And so I did like all the shoulds in the world, right? Got the professional job, um, found a husband to have babies with, bought a house, uh, had the baby, right? Like all the shoulds. And then it was like, what is this, right? What is this? Yeah. What is this life that we are leading? Um, and finally, I, um, when we moved, I decided to stay at home.
Um, and that felt, that felt really good for a period of time. Um, because that's what I wanted, but at the same time, I felt like something was missing like there was more. I felt like there was more and I think a lot of people can relate to that. Like, yeah, this is it, right? There's [00:09:00] there more, right? And just having like that mustard seed of faith that there is more carried me through.
Um, yeah,
Gabi: yeah, I was going to say. So many of us can relate to that because this is kind of what our society does to a lot of us and a lot of our families just follow the should path. You do the things, you check the boxes, and then you end up as like a young mom being like, who in the world even am I?
What is my space? What am I doing?
Jael: We don't take the time to get to know ourselves. And once we identify our gifts and what drives us, then getting the education to support that gift within us, [00:10:00] to go flourish out into the world. That, like, perspective shift was, was huge. Yeah.
Gabi: What did you discover about yourself that was new?
Jael: I discovered that, um, I never really took the time to dream.
Gabi: Wow. Yeah.
Jael: Or, if I did, often my dreams were limited. Mm hmm. Um, they were very based off of earthly reality, like, um, and I have to say, even recently, it was probably a few years ago. Like, you know, New Year's comes around and people make, um, goals for the year resolutions for the year.
[00:11:00] My goal that year was to drink more water, and I'm not saying that's a bad goal. It's just so easily achievable. It was like, I wasn't reaching.
Yeah. Like, I, like, I lacked the faith for more. Like, I didn't believe in more at that point. Right. Or was I even worthy of more? Yeah, was I telling myself I have so much to be grateful for that.
This is enough My more is here and and that's enough, right? And I mean, I truly believe we are enough We are absolutely enough given this point in time this present moment. [00:12:00] We are enough and we are growing and evolving and expanding beings and And there is more out there. Because God's love is so great, it's, it can't be contained, right?
It can't be contained. And so, I truly believe we are, we were created out of God's love. And so, how can our dreams be contained? Mmm, so good. They can't, they're expanding, they're growing, and it's as long as we're willing to walk in faith, that's when we get to experience the more.
Gabi: I just got like really excited internally, like to think about that, picture that, you just move forward and it keeps expanding and it keeps expanding and how it's God's dreams.
That we're walking into, which [00:13:00] also takes so much of the pressure off, like there's so much life to look forward to when you live in faith. Yeah.
Jael: Right. Yeah, absolutely. And, um, I have to say, like, my faith wasn't always this big, like, Um, there was maybe a time in my life where I didn't believe, or I questioned a lot.
I questioned so much, and I think that's totally natural. Um, but like I mentioned the mustard seed before, like, I still had a mustard seed. And, um, it wasn't until I, I hit a rock bottom. Um, so I mentioned that I, it was always a dream of mine to be a mother. Um, and before we had our [00:14:00] firstborn, we lost a baby and my heart felt broken.
It shattered, um, dreams lost, um, hopes and visions out the door. It felt like everything got swiped and taken away from me. Um, but God taught me that he had a, my heart was broken in order for his love to come in.
And so through that, I realized, okay, there is hope, right? That mustard seed was fertilized and it really started to sprout and grow from there.
Um, and so it's crazy. Like sometimes we don't understand why we [00:15:00] go through hard moments in life. But I truly believe that I went through that hell in order to understand God's love for me.
Gabi: Wow. Yeah.
I think only God can really do that, right? Take something so devastating and, like, He didn't orchestrate that. It just, it's something that happens and it's tragic. But how He's able to fashion it. Into something beautiful anyway.. Yes. Yes. Such a gift.
Jael: Yes. Make use of what happened. Yeah. Nothing is lost.
Gabi: Yeah.
God's love. Yeah.
Jael: It's amazing. Yeah. Did I even answer your question, Gabi?
Gabi: Oh, I [00:16:00] don't even remember what my question was, but this is a great conversation anyways.
Oh my goodness. I think I was asking you, like, what have you discovered that's new about you since you've had, like, this awakening that there's more to life than just me checking boxes. Mm. Mm.
Jael: Yes. Yes. And I'm keep, I keep like being reminded that like, are we dreaming too small? Mm hmm. Like this keeps coming up over and over and over again, but it's almost like with every step forward Every baby step counts and every step we take you can see More and more and more and so then what your dream was a year ago three years ago five years [00:17:00] ago Right sure looking back Dream but that's for my Current version, right?
Mm hmm. Myself. And so now, I can't imagine what my dream will be next year, three years down the line, five years down the line. Totally. Because we keep walking in faith, and I think that's what's so critical, is to understand that life is a series of transitions. Um, I was listening to one of your episodes earlier and you said something about like the messy middle.
And that was so liberating. That was, that was so freeing. Like, are we always in the messy middle? And I was like, Oh, okay. It's not just me. Yeah. Yeah. Messy middle. Right. Can it, can it not feel so messy on some days than others? Yeah, sure. But we are constantly in the [00:18:00] middle, we are constantly changing from yesterday to today to tomorrow, right?
We are going through series of transitions. Every single moment. Um, and it's a matter of can you appreciate the present moment? Um, recognize that you can create impact in this present moment that you can. be still in this present moment that you can open yourself to receive love in this present moment.
That you are 100% worthy and enough in this present moment. And I think it's hard for us to be still. Mm-Hmm, . We [00:19:00] enjoy that. And just, um, one of the exercises that you taught us, um, when you did the session in the Mastermind was. Um, orienting yourself, right? And just like realizing where you are in the present moment and noticing that you are safe.
Um, I think that's incredibly grounding. And it's like part of this healing journey is feeling so rooted and so grounded in who we are that we can step into spaces. And still be who we are right now, trying to, I mean, that has been critical for me. Growth journey.
Gabi: Yeah, yeah, definitely. And I know you've experienced this too, but for [00:20:00] me and probably for most people, every step of the way, as you expand into the dreams that God has for you, you also uncover more healing.
Like more of the lies that you believe about yourself and then having to face like, okay, I have to address this and heal this in order to move into this next level of expansion. Have you had that experience?
Jael: Totally. Totally. Um, yeah, I think a lot of it. At first, it's just like that self awareness, developing that self awareness and like awakening truly to, to what you've been living.
Like, so many of us do run on autopilot, right? Or day to day or year to year doing what other people expect of us. That [00:21:00] is autopilot behavior, um, doing, like fulfilling the societal expectations, getting a job, getting a degree, getting a house, having the babies, like that was the, what I thought society expected of me.
And I set out to fulfill it and yeah, just realizing that have I done that because it was a dream and desire of mine or because it was, uh, the narrative that society kept playing on repeat and was ingrained in my subconscious, not realizing what was going on. Right. When we're able to awaken. And when we're able to, like, trust ourselves, um, I think that's a game changer, right?
Um, and recognizing that you're whole, [00:22:00] recognizing that you are a child of God, recognizing that God isn't just out there, God is everywhere, including within you. Mm hmm. And can you listen to the, to your intuition, to God within? guide your purpose. Um, yeah, I think that is so key. Um, and that's one of the things actually, one of the main things that, that you taught me, Gabi, was, um, to develop my self trust because You know, in our back and forth conversations, you mentioned it and you put it so compassionately and yet nobody else had mentioned it to me before that perhaps I needed to develop my self trust.
Um, and just like giving me simple exercises to [00:23:00] show me that I could trust me. And I think that's helped not just in my relationship with myself and trusting my intuition, but it has also helped in relationships with others. Um, if I can trust myself, I can also trust, learn to trust others. Um, but that was, that was game changer for me is.
And it was empowering too, like, yeah, I'm totally capable. Um, and yeah, I can listen to God to guide my steps and yes, that intuition is God speaking through me.
Gabi: Yeah. I mean, it's why I love. Working with you is because you're just so ready to understand more depths of, like, how God has [00:24:00] designed you to be.
And this is what I say to my clients that are believers, and you don't have to be a believer to be my client, but if you are, I will encourage you, like, if God lives inside of you, then consider the possibility that Those gut feelings that you have. Or the way your body is responding to say yes or no is actually God guiding you because we've been taught often the opposite in church, et cetera, like that we shouldn't listen to ourselves.
We shouldn't have, like, any trust in ourselves, but that's not what we're doing. And I think that's where the confusion has come in is that God made us this way. And he's speaking to us through our bodies, through our intuition. So I love that you've embraced that and, [00:25:00] um, I see that definitely developing in you rapidly, which is super exciting.
Jael: It's cool. It's cool because yeah, like we started off the further, every step we take more is revealed. Mm hmm. Right. Um, yeah, and it's. It's dangerous when we feel stuck.
Gabi: Um, so you and I are similar in a lot of ways, um, including that we're both introverts. Yes, believe it or not, but you love community and you have learned to value community as like one of your top values in life. Can you share a little bit more about that?
Jael: Yeah, um, I used to say I loved my own company, [00:26:00] right, that I like to hang out with myself and, um, avoid lots of social situations.
And, uh, yeah, growing up, um, that's kind of how it was, like, I was into my books. Um, high school got a little dangerous because I wanted to socialize, didn't know how to socialize. Got into alcohol and drugs, um, in order to try to relax my social anxiety. And to fit in and belong, right? Um, but then, you know, continuing on with the shoulds in life, and graduating, and buying a house, and having a baby, that's kind of when I realized, like, I can't do this alone.
I mean, I had, you know, my husband with [00:27:00] me, but motherhood felt so heavy. It felt heavy for me. So heavy. Like my life was turned upside down with our firstborn. He would not sleep. And trying to do anything tired is hard. It is hard. Um, and being, because being a mother was something I look forward to in life, like ever since I was a little girl, I almost felt resentful when, um, we had our firstborn and it was so hard.
I was like, why did we do this? Like, why? Why, right? Um, I remember looking over at him and he was about a week old. I was just lying in bed exhausted and I opened my eyes and I said, Oh, my God, we both survived. Right? Like, we both survived. Um, [00:28:00] and I said, you know, this cannot feel like survival any longer. I want to enjoy motherhood.
Um, for my sake and for my son's sake, I don't want him to feel like my mom doesn't want me. Um, and so I said, things need to change. Um, I can't keep doing the same thing I'm doing, expecting different results, right? Um, so finally I had to reach out. I couldn't do it alone. Um, I had to reach out. I realized there was a group meeting at the hospital.
We would meet every Wednesday at noon and it was new mothers, um, who had given birth at the hospital. We'd sit around in this conference room, kind of on this dirty carpet, but we sat on this big circle and we just went around and said, you know, our names and. Um, and we would share stories and [00:29:00] that's when I realized how powerful community was.
Wow. How powerful it was to reach out and say, I need help. Because I think that is one of the hardest things that, um, We're often not willing to say is I need help.
Gabi: Yeah.
Jael: Help, um, often comes from different people, right? From reaching out and connecting with different people. And so this mother's group, um, was truly a saving grace for me.
And we ended up laughing together, crying together, raising our babies together. Oh, um, yeah. Uh, Motherhood turned into an enjoyable journey for me. Um, and I'm so thankful for that group. I didn't know anybody there, but... Because we were all Going through [00:30:00] that huge life transition together, we quickly, um, became friends and we're able to That is so cool.
And it's not like, the cool thing about community is that it, it's not like you have, you have to have an expert in the field. But you recognize that each of you has something to give. Yes. And that you can learn from one another. I think that is the coolest thing about community, um, that truly, yeah, like you can learn from one another.
Mm hmm. We all have a different gift and, um, yeah, it's a question of, um, are we, are we willing to accept and recognize the different gifts. That we each have.
Gabi: Yeah. And just that feeling of I'm [00:31:00] not alone in this. You don't need an expert by your side to feel like you're not alone. In fact, you'll probably feel less alone if you're surrounded by people who understand what you're going through.
Jael: Right? Yes. I think that was the key. That was the key. Realizing you're not alone. alone and learning as you go and just seeing other, like there was this one day where this baby would knock. I felt so bad for the mother and it was crying, crying, crying. And mom was just trying to, you know, listen and check in.
And I realized. It's not just me. The thing I learned, not by even her trying to teach me anything, by me simply observing, like, this happens, this happens to others, right? This happens, it's not just me. We're not alone in this. We're, and yeah, we can [00:32:00] show each other compassion and that helps the transition, um, so much.
Beautiful.
Gabi: It's just beautiful. And I know your, your heart for community has just grown and expanded and I would love to hear and for you to tell us. What you are up to now and what you're creating, because I would love for anyone who resonates with this to connect with you and get involved.
Jael: So, yeah, I'm going along on the journey.
I read when I realized community was so big, all of a sudden, it was like, that's what was. Happening in life. We ended up moving but, um, when we moved, I got really involved in our child's school and ended up building a community in the school. And then further got involved and [00:33:00] ended up. Um, helping with like DCE education, um, communities and, um, further got involved and, uh, well, during that time, COVID hit.
And so all these communities were in person, um, then COVID hit and we, I think all pivoted to Zoom. And that's where I realized. You can still connect and build genuine connection and relationships with people online.
Um, and I think a lot of people feel alone because they feel like there's nobody in their zip code that they can relate to.
The cool thing about Zoom and online is that you can meet with people from all over the world and you are not alone. It's a matter of finding The person that you need to connect with. Um, [00:34:00] and so, yes, um, the community, the online community journey began and I began serving in different online communities and so that's truly my passion now is to.
Continue building these relationships and connecting with people and experiencing the power of the Holy Spirit when we gather. Matthew 18 20 says, when two or three are gathered together, my name, there I am in the midst of them. I wholeheartedly believe that. And yes, we can be still and we can listen to the spirit within us.
But when we get together, there is a different energy. Something new is created and generated out of us connecting. And so that's what I love to experience with others. And that's what I want others to experience for themselves. Um, and so lately what I've been, um, [00:35:00] offering and something. That I realized on this healing and this growth journey is that we need to keep walking in faith right, it's important to be still and listen within and We are God's hands and feet And more will be revealed to us as we keep going Loving as we keep taking leaps or baby steps of faith and so I've been helping people who Um, who feel like they've had so many, like, God ideas planted in them, um, but are hard, having a hard time getting them out, right?
Yeah. Or maybe you've been on this growth and this, um, healing journey, right? And consume so much content and [00:36:00] it's important to learn. Um, and then the question is, what are we going to do with that? Right? Totally. Totally. Totally. And I feel like we're able to continue on this, um, healing and growth journey as we keep developing the trust with ourself of if we feel inspired to do something, to go out and do it because we become the evidence, we become the evidence of God here on earth, we become the evidence Of faith, right?
Um, I think that's how, how belief kind of like, we always want to see the evidence, but sometimes we see it in reverse, right? We have to take that leap of faith and then look back and say, thank you God. Um, so lately I've been hosting these to do workshops. I like to call it [00:37:00] a flow with God framework where I guide people.
And from taking all the busy, busyness going on in your head and your heart, being still listening with God and getting it out of your head, right? Documenting it on paper, organizing it so that you can see where your priority is. You can feel where you feel led to move, right? Because we're human. Um, we only have so many hours in the day, right?
Um, we have so much energy and so much focus. And so what we choose to focus on, what we choose to walk in faith with matters. Um, just helping people prioritize their day. and really walk in faith. So, um, I've been hosting the flow with God framework. The [00:38:00] next one is coming up Monday, November 27th, beyond real community.
Um, I'll share the links with you. And so if anybody feels like this is for them, I would be happy to answer any questions and yeah, seeing you walk out your.
Gabi: Yes, and I highly recommend if you're able to join her on the 27th, go check it out because you'll be so encouraged. You'll feel like you have an action plan, maybe for the first time.
And the cool part of it is it's in community. Because like you said, community can happen in these spaces online. I'm in Washington State and you're in Washington, D. C.
Jael: Isn't that crazy?
Gabi: Like, we've literally never met in person.
Jael: But this is community.
Gabi: Oh my gosh, that'll be a long hug, trust me. One of these days.
Yes, [00:39:00] so, um, all those links, I will be including those in the show notes. Make sure you guys go and check that out. And also connect with JL on Instagram. I know she'll be happy to answer any questions in her DMs and stuff. Tell us your Instagram handle.
Jael: I'm @risetorealness.
Gabi: Rise to realness. Go follow her right now.
Give her a little smiley face and a hello and go check out this amazing workshop that she's going to be doing on the 27th. I'm really excited about what she is doing. I'm excited about where it's going because I do feel that there is such a deep need for this kind of thing in community. Um, we get stuck a lot of the time.
Not because we have bad ideas, not because we're unmotivated, not because we don't have what it takes. But because we're alone, right, it's really [00:40:00] difficult to be motivated and have accountability on your own. So what JL is creating, what you're creating is beautiful and it's important and I hope as many people as possible can go and get plugged into that because it's going to be amazing.
Jael: Yes, it will be.
Gabi: So thank you for offering that up. And again, all those links will be in the show notes for you guys. And Jael, I just love you, girl.
Jael: Oh, I love you. It's such a joy to see you more than once this week.
Gabi: Yay! Yay us! Yay us! So fun, so fun. Well, again, everyone go connect with Jael. Jael, you are a delight.
Um, I'm excited because I think I get to talk to you again tomorrow. Um, but everyone, leave a comment on the podcast [00:41:00] if you have the opportunity and review and, um, like all the things, give me some stars. It really helps to get the word out about the podcast and amazing gems like JL. People in the world who are turning their difficult experiences into something beautiful to give back.
Thank you for being here.
Jael: Thank you friend.
Gabi: Talk to you soon.