S2E17: Coffee with Gabi! Good Girl Syndrome
I'm back after a brief hiatus! In this episode I delve into the concept of "Good Girl Syndrome" and how it has affected my life and how it may be affecting yours.
I share a story about a therapy session revelation (IYKYK;)) and how it freed me from the constraints of conforming to specific societal expectations.
Join me as I discuss the pressures of being a "good girl" and the belief that I must only express positive emotions. I challenge the notion that complaining is sinful and emphasize the importance of speaking one's truth, even when it involves acknowledging frustration or annoyance.
This episode invites you to break free from the limitations of Good Girl Syndrome and embrace the power of honesty and vulnerability. I hope my personal journey serves as a beacon of hope for anyone else learning to speak up and tell the truth, even when it's not pretty.
Tune in to this empowering episode of Pain to Passion Live as my journey inspires you to break free from the confines of Good Girl Syndrome and embrace the truth within you.
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(TRANSCRIPT) S2E17: Coffee with Gabi! Good Girl Syndrome
Note: Transcript is created by AI. Please excuse any errors.
Gabi: [00:00:00] Hello, beautiful souls. Oh my goodness. It has been a while since I was able to drop an episode. And I just want to tell you that I have actually been walking through probably one of the most challenging seasons of my life. Um, for now, all the details will remain private. But I just want you to hear my voice and know that it's okay to stop doing something when you're going through a challenging season.
I just simply did not have the capacity to do this podcast and stay Healthy, mentally, physically, emotionally, all at the same time, I had to really prioritize what I was doing with my time and my energy. And I [00:01:00] am happy to say that I feel very at peace. And although the challenge is not over, I am feeling really empowered and healthy to move back into doing this podcast along with.
All of the other exciting things that I have also been working on behind the scenes and I'm just so grateful for you, for this listening community that has grown over the past about 10 months. I guess I've been doing this show. And you have been amazing. Um, I truly believe that if you are listening to this show, you're listening to it for a reason.
And perhaps you, like me, have been through a really challenging season over the summer, over the last couple of months. It seems like everywhere that I turn, someone is going through a difficult time. So if that's you, I hope that you're being gentle with yourself and just know you're not alone and [00:02:00] I do hope and pray that the episodes that are here and the episodes that are to come will continue to encourage you and strengthen your heart as you walk through what's Whatever season you are in, um, as usual, like I have in the past, this is a coffee with Gabi episode dropping on a Friday.
You may hear some rain. If you can hear the rain, it's because I am sitting in my car recording this show. in the rain and it's beautiful. We have really needed rain here in Spokane. I don't know if you heard about the fires that were here but this is such a gift to get rain and it feels so refreshing and it definitely seems as though fall is on the way.
So pull up a chair, grab your coffee. Let's chat for a few minutes. I wanted to talk today about good girl syndrome. I tried actually to [00:03:00] record this podcast a couple of weeks ago and it disappeared. So I'm trusting that the timing is right for someone now Instagram.
Maybe two or three weeks ago, a post about how I had gone to therapy, which is something I do every week. I go to see my therapist every week. It's amazing. Um, and I was telling her about a situation that I was in and she asked me how I felt about it. And I'm very honest with her. We've built quite rapport, a good rapport over the last couple of years.
And I thought about it for a second. And I'm super annoyed and she looked at me and she's like, well, yeah, that's an appropriate response because this is annoying and it was incredibly validating for me [00:04:00] because I realized in that moment that I have suffered for most of my life from what I would like to call good girl syndrome.
Some of you are probably already nodding your heads, like, yep, I know exactly what you're talking about, but for those of you who are not sure, let's, uh, hash this out a little bit. So, good girl syndrome comes from, you know, growing up a lot of the times and a Christian household. I'm still a believer.
There's a lot of things I believe differently now than I did before, but that's another episode for another time. But, just growing up with this idea that, like, you're a young woman, and you only have nice emotions, and you don't say bad things, and you don't complain, and complaining is sinful, and... Uh, just be a nice, good girl and say good things about all the things.
Like, even if you're struggling, try [00:05:00] to frame it in a way that sounds nice and be a good girl. Do any of you relate to this? Please tell me I'm not the only one. And I realized when I told my therapist that I was really annoyed that somewhere in the depths of me, unbeknownst to me, it had become a belief.
Somehow, that to say that I was annoyed meant that there was something wrong with me, like if there was something annoying me that I needed to grow up or I needed to pull it together and stop being so sensitive. And now that I say these things out loud, it's the messaging that I got as a child from different leaders and people in my life who were important to me.
Of when I did express my true feelings. Those are the very things that would be said to me, like, Pull yourself together. Grow up. You need to be less [00:06:00] sensitive. Raise your hand if you have had these messages. I bet all of you are raising your hands. Because just the fact that you're listening to a show called Pain to Passion Live tells me that you probably have a sensitive heart.
Which, by the way, is not a bad thing. And, telling the truth about how you feel is also not a bad thing. So when I opened my mouth and I said, I'm super annoyed for the first time in my life, and with the validation of my therapist coming back to me saying, You should be! It's annoying was like an oh The angels came down and opened the heavens and showed me that this is actually okay It's okay to be annoyed by something that is annoying Believe it or not, and it's okay to admit that you are annoyed by something.
That is actually [00:07:00] Annoying. To be frustrated about that and be upset about it and wish that it was different and take steps to maybe help yourself not be around that annoying situation as much because it's harming you. That annoyance is stress and it's causing anxiety and stress on your body. So all that to say, I felt freed that day from good girl syndrome.
Completely, I don't know. I know that in a lot of situations I probably would still show up as like, Oh good, everything's fine. There's safety to that if you're with people that you don't know. But for the most part, I feel like now I have this capacity to be honest that is so much larger than it was in the past, not just because of this one therapy session.
Obviously it's been something I've been working on for a long time, but that therapy session really showed me like, I usually wouldn't admit that something was annoying. [00:08:00] Like I might admit that I was sad or mad about something, but annoyed. No, like that is not what a good girl would do. And to hear that Validating these difficult feelings and saying out loud how things really are, especially when they're hard, is a new skill that a lot of us need to learn.
And once we do learn it, we can know that we're still valued. We're still precious. We're still amazing human beings who are worthy of love, even when we say what's true about how we're feeling. Or perhaps it makes us even more just. Lovable, to be honest, you know what I mean? Like to be vulnerable, that's the space where real authentic relationship happens with yourself, with others.
And there's something [00:09:00] truly beautiful about that. So if you feel like you're suffering from good girl syndrome, please let me know. And you can also, caveat, tell me what might be frustrating. You annoying you making you angry and just get it out there like get it in black and white shoot me an email or Voice text on Instagram or whatever you need to do to kind of start breaking out of this good girl syndrome being a good woman does not mean saying only nice things all the time and Speaking the truth does not always equate complaining Speaking the truth is speaking the truth and you know what it says Telling the truth sets us free So live free and full and beautiful lives, you glorious, beautiful human.
You are incredible and you do not have to [00:10:00] suffer from good girl, or if you happen to be a boy, good boy syndrome any longer. You can be free. Tell the truth. Along those lines, I have been just amazed and overwhelmed with how responsive my clients have been to my new pain to passion 12 week coaching program.
Talk about telling the truth. If you want to tell the truth about how your body feels when you're trying to do something new, about how your anxiety has been present with you for most of your life, tell the truth about your story and your narrative and start to heal from all of that and begin to truly uncover your purpose.
Maybe you're an entrepreneur and you continue to get stuck in the phase of development because you can't move past it for some reason. Every time you try to move forward in your business, you feel [00:11:00] paralyzed, you feel shut down. Your anxiety overcomes you. You get distracted If you can relate to this, this is exactly what I'm helping my clients through, truly healing their nervous systems, understanding their stories, and uncovering their purpose in a way that is compassionate.
And kind to your mind and your body so that you can move through these discomforts and actually accomplish and achieve the things that you were created to do. If that's something that's interesting to you, please book a free coaching call with me. Okay. I'm offering free 45 minute coaching calls. The link will be in the show notes.
You can also find it in my Instagram bio and on my website. Um, just click on that link. We will get on the phone for 45 minutes. Um, I will coach you through whatever is your stickiest point right now, as you begin to tell the truth about what's going on with you, I cannot wait to connect with you and see if potentially this 12 week pain [00:12:00] to passion program is a good fit for you as well.
Remember that you're worth it. You're amazing. You're created on purpose for a purpose and you are such a gift to me. Thank you for being here. Please, uh, Subscribe and rate the podcast when you have a moment. It helps so much to get the word out about this show and stay tuned because we have some amazing guests and amazing topics coming up in the next few weeks and months, and I cannot wait to share it with you all.
Have an amazing day. I will talk to you again soon. Bye friends.